We had the coffee last night. We were together for about 3 hours.
We had some tense moments and some laughs. We came to arrangements about our son for the next few weeks and Christmas. She invited me to go over early Christmas morning so I can be there when our son opens his presents. She said she would put breakfast on and then asked me if I wanted to go to church with them. She would then take him for Christmas lunch with her family and I would pick him up for Christmas dinner with mine. So I was happy with this (especially the morning, breakfast and church options)
We did talk about our relationship, but not about getting back together. I used it as more of a councelling session for us to discuss where we thought we went wrong. I told her I felt that our biggest issue was the way we communicated and that it wasn't her's of my fault. She told me about things that I did to either add pressure, make her feel like she wasn't enough woman for me, or why she thought I wasn't emotionally supporting her.
I apologised, and said that I never meant to do that to her, and it was the last thing I wanted, but again, it came down to us not being able to effectively talk about it. I also said that I thought I knew what she wanted, but I was wrong and I realise that now. I even said to her, that maybe this is a blessing in disguise, as I've had time to understand what is really important to me and to look at the way I am in order for me to become a better person and I won't be making the same mistakes with our son.
I told her that I didn't want to loose her friendship and she said that we won't be going out to a movie or dinner or anything, and that the only time we would get together would be to discuss our son or the properties. She told me that she wanted to meet with me outside of her home as she didn't want our son getting the wrong idea in that we might be getting back together. This was the same excuse she used for not wanting to join us on our holiday to Fiji.
She asked me whether I had cheated on her again and I said no. I said I would never do that to her or any-one while looking her straight in the eyes.
I know I shouldn't of got into the relationship talks with her, but I wanted her to realise that seriously looked at what had happened to us.
She is still full steam ahead with the divorce with no signs of changing her mind, but hopefully I've given her enough to make her think that I am changing (for me) which is what I wanted to achieve and I wasn't being needy or pushy and I didn't make mistakes like begging etc.
I called my sister last night and spoke to her about what we had said, and she said that if she was in my W's shoes, she wouldn't be able to sleep as it would definately make her think.
Any advice on what I should do now? I still havn't given up hope, even though is seems very unlikely that we will get back together. I could almost say it is 100% unlikely that we will get back together.
