First, that communication about the kids schedules should go between the two of us, and not through the kids. How do I say this and not make it sound like I'm trying to control her?
The way you said it here sounds just fine to me. You're focus is clearly on the kids and not control. You just do what you have to do, and don't worry about your W's reaction to what you are saying.
Quote:
Second, S13 should stay home for newyears week as we originally agreed.
Sounds like you have many good reasons for sticking by the original plans. Hers is something like "you're trying to hurt me or my family" or something. I think the alternative of giving her spring break week is wonderful as well. I would try to get that in written form as well at some point, whether she agrees or not email that to her and save a copy of that on your computer. When they are deciding custody they look to the more reasonable parent to grant custody, and if she doesn't agree, then it will help you in the future if nothing else.