Need Help again!!

[Augtan]

Thanks so much "are you kidding". I read some of your posts and I hurt with you too. I am having issues with my D16 and D10, my XH accuses D16 of doing drugs, picking horrible friends, running around with the wrong boys, etc when she is in Georgia where she grew up. He uses this as an excuse for her not to be allowed to go visit him in Georgia (we now live in Ohio). She does none of those things up here, and I'm sure not when she is down there either. XH and D16 were very, very close till all of this happened and now he knows she knows what he is and what he has done, so I think he does it to push her away. These MLCer's are just plain crazy!

Last night, I went to meet some friends at a bar/resturant, I knew it was a place that XH takes the kids to watch football when he is up here, so I asked D16 (she had just come home from dinner with him) where they were going after dinner and she said a different bar/resturant, so I thought I was clear to go to the other one. I got there, and XH, S14 and D10 were walking out! D10 comes running over to me and hugs me, S14 and XH go and get in his car. I had not seen S14 for a few days so I went over to say "Hi". While I am talking to S14, XH and I are just looking into each others eyes. XH then says "What are you doing, what are you up to tonight?" I just said "meeting some friends". If I would ever, ever have asked him the same thing he would tell me, "it is none of your business, I don't ask you about your personal life, so don't ask me about mine". But, I was just casual and answered him like it was no big deal, said good-bye and went in to meet my friends.

Today, D16 gets ready and comes down to tell me she is going to eat with XH and other kids, they pull up and she makes them wait, but no one gets out of the car, and she leaves.

Oh, the night before last D10 calls me from the hotel room with XH at midnight telling me to come pick her up, she wants to come home. I told her "no, I am not at home, you need to stay with Dad" I really was home in my bed, but not their business. She begs and pleads, crys and such, I stay firm (all the while XH could have taken the phone, apologized and tell me he will handle it, but he can't do this cause he is not an adult!!). She asks me where I am and I tell her not to worry about it. Then, I turned my phone off. Earlier that evening XH had texted me asking if he could bring D10 home for a few hours the next morning while he took S14 to a gun show, I told him I wouldn't be home till mid morning and he could bring her around 11 am.

I am soooo proud of myself, no tears, no R talk, no OW talk, nothing!! I have stayed very, very distant. I know there is a long road ahead!! He is still soooo deep in the tunnel and still with OW. We go down there next weekend for the SEC Championship game, kids will stay with XH and I am staying with my friend two nights and a hotel one night. I know my friend will keep me straight and on the right path. Everyone down there knows how crazy he went overnight! They have seen OW and cannot figure out for the life of them what he is thinking!! I have gotton soooo many messages from my friends down there after they see her and they all are just amazed at how ugly she is and how much he "downgraded" when he left me. But, I guess cute looks, a good heart, good mother, good wife, great lover, someone with values, morals, etc. just isn't good enough for my XH, he wants the opposite.

Two questions after all that rambling...XH and kids might go to the zoo's light display Christmas thing tonight, kids want me to come too, if XH asks me to go...should I? And, last week I made a CD of all "our" songs and other ones that say exactly what I feel and want him to hear and know, such as David Cooks "Come Back to Me" should I give it to him before he leaves tomorrow?

If any of you haven't heard that song, get a tissue and listen to it, it is exactly a song to an MLCer!! I sob everytime I hear it!!

Thanks everyone!

A