i mean she responded but not to having me come over and help her.
talked to d earlier, she said mom was cooler with her today.
that's good.
wish i could stop grieving, it's been what almost 6 months now and i'm still grieving, it's a good thing she hasn't seen me, because i have been having my moments.
i have never hurt like i hurt and just praying that between my changes and time she'll seek help or find herself.
Last nite 1:54 am, call from wife, D snuck boys in again,bringing her to me.wouldn't believe the shouting match.
of course wife didn't mention, she was drunk,saying terrible things to d and hit d and d's friend.
anyway,dropped off d and d's friend. again d said mom you need to see someone, quit taking ur problems out on me,wife went livid.
anyway i got texts from wife later and here they are: Me:talked to boys,told them know where they live,don't disrespect you again Her:b glad they don't know where u live Me:Anybody insults you they insult me got your back Her:Not sure what else to do? Me:D says I'm seeing things Me:I know dear,we can move her room upstairs,take lock off door,sorry honey,happens again call me try to get some sleep Her:I feel defeated when it comes to her.No one breaks my heart like her. Me:u loved her before she even came into the world Me:she hates both of us (I ripped D's butt,she was texting her mom, bad stuff at this point.) Her:that's a shock Me:she goes after someone's heart do your best to blow it off Her:keep an eye out she'll fool ya.she will sneak out of ur house to. Me:that's what dad's do Her:D is threatening me (guess d texted her court was going to suck for her,not talking to her until she gets help) Me:you taught me anger and the cerebellum,that's all that is,she doesn't mean it,don't take it to heart. Her:Impossible not to Me:It takes some practice.A lot Me:I'm working tomorrow if you want to come over and talk to her Me:you did the right thing getting her out of the house for a bit Me:when knows you they know how to hurt you,esp when angry you taught me that. Her:if known working wouldn't have woken you up Me:they need me and close to losing my job Her:thanks for kicking me when i'm down.tried to teach u lots of good things,u weren't open to them Me:that wasn't a kick,you told me that for a reason thats why not angry with you Me:you taught a lot of good things dear Me:hurt for you like none other can't describe it,nite dear Her:Night Me:ur angry with me and i can't take it away,want to know how things made or make u feel,not what i did or didn't do.Night Me:You are a strong,beautiful,loving,good person,know those things,want to know ur mind and feelings
Wife called me:Maybe you should keep her for a bit, she doesn't sneak out or get away with stuff with you.
Not having a midlife crisis.Willing to see anyone you me to to prove it also.Give me a name and number.
I texted back with two psychiatrists numbers and told her our family Dr. has been wanting to help her with anti-depressants.
She texted back:Ok, send me all the google searches and the 6 stages of a MLC you talked to D about.
Did one better, sent her the midlife crisis for dummies, too and articles and websites and searches I had been doing for symptons that lead me to believe this is what she is happening.
PRAY WITH ME GUYS THAT SOMEONE HELPS HER AND SHE SEES SOMETHING THAT CLICKS.
Well wife texted d and was all cool, so d made the mistake of letting wife pick her up.
fight ensued quickly when wife said, i'm going to dad shrink and going to have the shrink fill out the paperwork to say there's nothing wrong with me and wave it in both your faces. then told d to not forget her shrooms and weed when she gets her stuff out of the house.
then to add insult the f'ing ea neighbor dude walks over and takes d aside and says what's wrong with you. d says me, mom's gone nuts, om says nothings wrong w ur mom it's all ur dad.
if this thing get's finalized, i'm kicking that guys butt.
talked to s he's home alone, wife with neighbor,it's ok dad, use to being alone, asked him if he wanted to come over he said no.
having friends over tonite.
oh the shrink she's going to meet by the way is the one my atty referred me to, didn't mean it to happen that way, but should be easy to subpeona him, wife keeps jeopardizing my kids.
forgot to put in earlier posts, ended up with d last nite, cause cops were called and wife and one of her girlfriends grabbed and pushed, etc d and her friend.
how the heck do i get out of the chaos? and not add to it, trying to protect kids.
I had a naughty D18, but this takes the cake. Your D needs to be put over someone's knee and spanked!! Your W, WORSE!
Ok, here's my recommendation...
Get your D back to your house, take her phone and her internet access and tell her she will earn these things back (tell her how). Tell her she is to stay in YOUR home, and will not be allowed to be picked up by her mom until all of this drama has ENDED. Ground her little butt, and don't give in!
I feel bad for your S. How old is he?
You will get NO WHERE with this group, until you LEAD.
Holy cow.
I feel for you.
Keep venting! But get that teenager in line before you have a drug addicted pregnant D!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
It's like if anyone leans towards me or wants to be with me, wife attacks them, she's even saying bad things about a friend of hers that talks to me and won't have anything to do with wife now.
my s is 11, but yes to clarify, d is 14 and last nite wanted to get a coloring book, she puts up a tough facade but she'd really just be a kid, i can see the hurt in her face.
yes friends snuck in,but they had snuck in before and wife had joined them in the shenagans.
but yeah to clarify, d is not doing drugs or smoking, i have to smoke outside and away from her because of her asthma, d told me she hasn't even kissed a boy yet, she likes 'em, but would rather hang with her girlfriends. she only started her first period back in april.
i can't believe what my wife is doing and saying to her.D told her she is staying with me, until her mom gets help.
Post on 11/27/09 06:34 PM-Shows you are still focused on her...you don't Hope she gets help.....You hope to be stronger yourself
Post on 11/28/09 10:22 AM-You think that you were helpful and considerate (also validating)....my take was you were more condescending and a backlash from wife would soon come
(I was going to reply, but really haven't been on the site since reading that post to today)
Post on 11/28/09 02:14 PM-Backlash...be lucky it was by text or it would have been much worse. You keep trying to tell her she has a problem....until you give her the space to realize it on her own...she will continue her actions
Post on 11/28/09 10:17 PM-Backlash at your daughter because you keep insinuating that mom has a problem...which she passes on to her mother...which ticks mother off more resulting in her anger being taken out on your daughter
Post on 11/28/09 10:17 PM-More of the same...you and your daughter are trapping your wife in a corner by repeatedly implying she has a problem...she won't get to the solution until she does it herself
Post on Today at 11:46 AM-No surprise....your wife will say anything to get you to do what she has asked....which is leave her alone and give her space!
How do you get out of the chaos? Simple....get away from the situation which you still haven't achieved. You continue to focus on your wife, her problem, and now the kids are involved making the situation worse. Until people accept they have a problem....no amount of brow beating will make them think otherwise.
As far as your daughter...watch the movie Thirteen.....and oh yes that is how things are. I agree with mindfull...focus on setting boundaries for your daughter even if that means she moves in with you. Forget about your wife...there are more important things that need to be dealt with at the moment. You do that and that would be a huge 180 for you.
(I ripped D's butt,she was texting her mom, bad stuff at this point.)