Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

Moving to this forum from Newcomers now that I have confirmation of A over a week ago.

My H will not face me, will not admit A to me and has not filed although he says he wants D. I am utterly confused by his behavior.

I found out about A from OW's exH and that everyone at work already knows since they have not been discreet. My H told me not to believe him and that he and OW are "just friends". This OW is a gold-digging homewrecker that works with my H. My H has a powerful position in the co and earns very well. My H left in May and she divorced her H in August.

I'm hoping by letting H know I know and that everyone at work knows, the attraction of secrecy is gone. I do NOT want this OW getting her hands on our $. I don't know how to draw my H's attention away from her. It seems as though he is strongly attached to her and it's been since before he left in May. He probably feels obligated to her since she divorced her H for him.

I'm disgusted by the A. I'm confused. I don't want him, but don't want this OW in my kids' life. I'll keep standing for my M in hopes that he sees the light and realizes what he is doing to our family. He is extremely selfish and arrogant right now and treats me with anger and rejection.

It just seems that my H is mentally disturbed and I feel bad that this man is my kids' father. I don't know what to do.

I've been GAL and doing 180s. My reaction to learning of the A is a definite 180; I was calm and composed. The kids know but are afraid to let him know since he threatens them with taking $ from them for their activities. The kids (D13, S12)say he is acting very guilty and buying them whatever they ask.

I just want to get my H back from the OW and will wait to see if he is sorry for what he is done and want to work on the M.


M 17yrs
T 20yrs
Me 40
H 39