Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Greek]

1. W has said before that I am not welcome in home when I am back for R&R, I WILL be staying in the home-no matter what she says, however, do I tell her this before I get there, or just do it?

Just do it. Nothing good will come out of a war of words - "Oh yes I am and you can't stop me." That isn't going to get you anywhere. Your house - that's where you are staying. Just do it.

2. If there is OM, knowing that I am leaving again in 2 weeks, I will lay the boundary, but how can I enforce it if I am not there?

Even if you were there, you couldn't enforce it. Some things are out of your control. Just let her know what the consequences will be for her behavior. Then follow through.

3. I will be there at Christmas-do I buy W a small gift? Wish her Merry C? She didn't call me on Tgiving, so I am thinking NO.

I'm thinking 'yes'. Nothing romantic. Something kind and something that you know she will like - but not over the top.

4. If the idea is to be a strong, confident Alpha male, looking good, smelling good, not over reacting to anything she says or does - how do I pull that off without looking like I am faking it? I know NOTHING about fashion etc. I have the means to buy new clothes-she is used to me in Harley T-shirts, and jeans. What do I buy-LADIES???

You won't be FAKING it. You will look, smell and feel good. Make up your mind now. Sure, she'll notice and may even snark at you like "What's up with the blah, blah, blah?" Just smile and say nothing - mystery. Get new jeans. Buy a collared polo shirt. Got khakis? Get new shoes - not tennis shoes - big boy shoes Be different and dress differently than you normally do. I don't mean a whole new style - your style is your style. But the polish - spiff it up some. New underwear, too. Not that you'll be modeling that for her...but they'll be around and she'll notice. Sure would make me wonder - why does he have new boxers??? When you go out, even if it's just to take the boys to the mall - whatever - look good. Don't just throw on anything and head out. Put yourself together first. Not for HER ..... for YOU! B/c that's how your roll now.

5. What do I do, if she just locks me out of the M bedroom? We have locks on the doors. Do I just accept that, or get the key and open the door and go in?

Don't get baited into knocking the door down or anything like that. Don't let her bait you AT ALL. If you can unlock the door with a key, yep, I say do it. That is the room that y'all share. If she doesn't want to share it anymore - then she can move. "W, I understand that you don't want to share a room with me. I don't agree. But since you are the one who doesn't want to share, you can leave. I will be sleeping in this room." 'Nuff said.

Cheers ~
Greek (who consulted with Coach on these answers while he reads the Sunday paper)