Moving on with my life!

[volleydog]

"he WILL be staying here Xmas Eve so he is here in the morning when baby wakes up."

Bad idea IMO...Why not just make him wake up early and drive over if he wants to be there? You shouldn't let him make that kind of decision...

[kassie]

Just stopping by to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Thinking about you!

[K4D]

Happy Thanksgiving SO2,

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Ours was decent. Busy as heck, but decent.

I like to get our Xmas lights up as soon as possible so my son and I were going to do that yesterday morning. We didn't have a ladder so my son said he text'd exh to see if we could borrow his. Next thing I knew exh is at my house, and he and my son put up the lights. Whatever. When he left I said thanks and he said "I am not the monster you think I am". I didn't say anything.

Went to my family's for Tgiving and the whole time exh was texting to find out what time we were going to his sisters. I didn't respond until we were ready to go there. It was the strangest thing...the whole hour or so we were there exh sat on the chair looking depressed and I chased baby around. She is on the move and into everything, and this guy did nothing! Sat there. Baby wanted to run around outside so I was out there with her by myself for probably 3/4 of the time. I had brought dessert and just as his sister was getting ready to serve it exh told her to wrap a piece up he wanted to go home cuz he is tired! WTF! We didn't even get dessert. His other girls got there maybe 15 minutes before he left.

Then he started texting about how he misses us and how he wanted things to be different. I caved and told him thing could have been but he always chose other women over us.

Oh, he also looked like he was on some sort of pill yesterday. Real lethargic. He wasn't drinking, but I know he was on something. Oh, and when we were there he was texting the whole time. I am sure it was the married gf. It was so irritating and I felt the same sick feelings I used to. So he sat in the chair texting the whole time while I chased baby. He hardly even interacted with her.

Some things never change.

[volleydog]

Sounds like you had a good/busy Thanksgiving...

I would bet that your EX does want his old life back, problem is he's an addict and doesn't know what to do...That's the big reason for using instant gratification. If he could get through his thick head(I can say that cuz I was there)that if he just got help his life would be so much better, till then he has to deal with the life he's built.

[Startingover2]

Yep...an addict for sure. When we were married he was heavy into the pills and not the drinking. The pills alone caused alot of strife in our M. Then when we split, he went more towards the drinking. Now that its so obvious when he is drinking and he is out to prove he isn't an alcoholic, he is reverting back to the pills. Problem for him is I can see the signs when he is on them, nobody else can unless he is completely wasted on them. He was slurring a bit when he was here putting up the lights and then by the end of the day he was not well. I could tell all he wanted to do was go to sleep.

I guess he knows that eventually the pills/drinking will cause major problems between us and its easier to stay away.

Text yesterday:

exh: I miss you guys so much. I wish things were different. I miss my life.
Me: Things could have been different but you chose other women over us.
exh: Its not like that. My heart is with you and baby. I just have issues. (Whatever that means!)
Me: Do you hear yourself? Your heart is here, but you sleep with another woman and you won't stand for US! Makes no sense.
exh: Its not what you think, no matter what you hear.

I left it and turned my phone off.

Yes, he is an addict. Doesn't want to stop.

[K4D]

exh: I miss you guys so much. I wish things were different. I miss my life.

SO2,

It sounds like he was trying to test the waters and reach out some. Even though he hasn't left the OW, I see some reason for hope there. You are obviously on his mind. I would think your prayers are getting through.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Thank you for posting! I love and need it.

I really wish there was a reason for hope. Unfortunately, my exh is so screwed up he doesn't know which way is up and he makes the dumbest choices...and then complains about how miserable he is. On my phone his name is not his real name but Cake Eater. It always reminds me of who he is when I see him calling or texting.

[Startingover2]

Exh says he wants to start doing more with baby and I to see where it goes. Nice words. Do I believe it? Probably not.

Last night we ended up doing our usual bet on a football game we bet on every year. He asked what the bet was. I couldn't think of anything so asked him. Then the conversation turned a bit personal and I said there was no way I would consider anything personal if he is still with married gf or anyone else. He said its over...blah, blah blah. I did say I have heard that before. So I decided on a shoulder rub if I won because he gives really good ones....and I won! Thankfully!!! When he told me what he wanted (which is what he always bet anyway so it was no surprise) I said it was out of the question even if the gf was gone. Not going there with him. I probably wont even get my shoulder rub either

How nice it would be to believe him. To believe he is a changed man. To believe he is getting help for his problems. But I know different. Still makes it sad though.

[volleydog]

This MAY have been a good time to approach him about rehab...I think the drugs and drinking are the main problem, by far, and he could better handle a relationship off them...I think the OM thing would be taken care of...

I just don't want to see you get drawn in and get hurt even more.