She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

So, either late tonight or monday night I'm having a sit-down with my WAW to discuss her plans to take S13 to seatle for New Years week. (D17 will be in california for the rosebowl parade).
This is assuming that she didn't just go ahead and book the flights anyway.

I don't think I've handled most of our conversations very well. I need some support about what to say, how to say it, etc.

I want to take a stand on two things: First, that communication about the kids schedules should go between the two of us, and not through the kids. How do I say this and not make it sound like I'm trying to control her?

Second, S13 should stay home for newyears week as we originally agreed. S13 does not want to make the choice himself, and is very concerned about me not going on the trip. He has asked multiple times why I can't go to Seatle too, or how much would the extra plane ticket cost. I don't think it's in his interest, to be forced to deal with this, when we haven't even sat down to talk to him about our sitch yet. I think I should offer spring break week as an alternative. W could take both D17 and S13 then, and I'll be working. The very selfish side of this is that since we had already agreed on Newyears week, I turned down all my gigs and made plans already. Basically, it's too late to change any of that.

Please, what do you think?