Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Greek]

She seems to be having a great time. No responsibilities, and all the freedom in the world. Boys can take care of themselves, it's basically this: she is acting like a teenager right along with my boys.

Yep. So you deal with her like you would a teenager. "This is my boundary. If you do this, then I will do that."

When they back talk her, or don't do what she says, she immediately calls me and demands that I do something. I don't call her back. How does she not see what she is doing isn't healthy? I just don't get this stuff...

Do not bail her out of those situations. Tell your sons what your expectations are regarding their mother. Then you let her handle it. Don't enable her irresponsible behavior. You can say something like "I am not there, Wife, so I cannot properly judge what has happened. But I trust that you can judge the boys' behavior and what should be done about it. You can handle it."

Greek