Now, once you have his attention you raise ONE issue with him. Only ONE. Men work in serial and not in parallel. Think of your H as a baseball player. He is holding the bat and waiting for your pitch. IF you keep throwing TEN balls at him all at once he's not going to know which one to hit and will walk off the field. So, ONE ISSUE AT A TIME.
Another thing. You raise the issue and SHUT UP. e.g. "I've been thinking and realized that we have very little time together. What do you think about that?" Then STOP! Wait for his answer.
Depending on the severity of the subject he may walk away. Let him walk. Do not pursue him. You got the message across. Give him time to think about it. As much as you would like an instant solution, he may not have one. If he doesn't give you an answer in a couple of days, gently remind him. "Hey, have you given any thought to that thing I mentioned the other day?" -- Note: Avoid the use of the words, 'talked', 'discussed', 'problem' those words put pressure on him.
I really hope this helps someone out there.
Someone send me a NOOSE!
So, you're telling me it's not okay to raise issue #1 - #5, while sobbing mind you, and after a party in a parking lot, and then... when he walks, follow him around like a lunatic, all the while constantly dialing! (This actually happened. You have NO idea what it's like to not be HEARD, for over a YEAR, for cryin' out loud!!! However, since I read your post, it all starts to make sense!!!)
What else ya got?
Last edited by mindfull; 11/29/0904:03 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
