I wouldn't be concerned too much about her friend that you mentioned...say anything to her about it and she'll just think you're trying to control her. If it get's worse, then only you know what your tolerance is...and only you can decide if it's worth making a major change because of it.
As far as other man...you still can't control her or stop her 'if' she is doing that. WAS can justify to themselves that what they are doing is fine, regardless of the damage it does to the kids, you, and the family as a whole. 'If' that's going on, once again...only you know what you're capable of tolerating...and only you can decide if it's worth making a major change because of it.
Know this too...ALL CHEATERS LIE!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Hi soldierdad! Good morning (?) Antlers is right, on all counts, including the last bit!
Is it ok with you for the boys to be home alone overnight? That seems like a pretty reasonable boundary, Esp if they dont even know that shes not there! 40 y/o women dont pull all nighters! It doesnt seem right to me, but I dont have kids...
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Hi soldierdad! Good morning (?) Antlers is right, on all counts, including the last bit!
Is it ok with you for the boys to be home alone overnight? That seems like a pretty reasonable boundary, Esp if they dont even know that shes not there! 40 y/o women dont pull all nighters! It doesnt seem right to me, but I dont have kids...
Gee, ya THINK???
This is completely unacceptable. If she were a single parent, someone could call HHS on her for doing something like this.
Texas has some pretty weird laws as far as leaving kids home alone. As long as you feel comfortable with it, it's ok. You can leave an 8 year old home all day if you think your kid can handle it.
No, I don't think it is alright for my boys to be home alone over night. 2 things, they have no idea that she is doing it, as they are asleep when she gets home, and she obviously doesn't care about them, and their well-being enough to come home at a decent hour. How can a mother do that?
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
SoldierDad... I've been reading on and off all day. I have a D18, a S12 and S10. D18 is moved out now, and in college, but, last year as a Senior I would leave her w/the boys on a weekday night (for a once a month - or so - girls night). I was always home by 10, w/no more than 2-3 glasses of wine, depending on how long I had been out. My D18 was fine w/the boys, but how could I wake up, get everyone off to school, lunches packed, uniforms handled, etc... if I was out late? (My H works out of town during much of the work week.)
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
mindfull. She doesn't work on the weeekends, so that isn't an issue. However, she does go out sometimes on weeknights, but I don't know what time she gets in, as boys go to sleep at 9. I would think that a 38 YOW, would get tired of being tired, used, whatever, but I guess not. She has been going pretty steady at it for 3-4 months now. I want to bring her home, but I don't know if she even WANTS to come home. She seems to be having a great time. No responsibilities, and all the freedom in the world. Boys can take care of themselves, it's basically this: she is acting like a teenager right along with my boys. When they back talk her, or don't do what she says, she immediately calls me and demands that I do something. I don't call her back. How does she not see what she is doing isn't healthy? I just don't get this stuff...
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
SadGirl, do you really think so? This is just crazy for me. If certain boundaries aren't met, then I don't think I will be there. I am trying to detach from all of this, but it is so hard. My love for her, has always been unconditional, but I am getting to a point that I am feeling very disrespected. And that is tough for a guy in my profession. Not that that has any bearing on my M, but I am used to it. The 2 weeks at home, I hope ar going to be pleasant, but I have a bad feeling about it too. She is going to raise holy he!! when she realizes that I am staying there for a few days. This is totally opposite of my regular behavior. Right now, I still want her, but the more and more I find out, the less and less I care. If that even makes any sense.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
