Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Gardener]

Gima,

Pretty good evening. With some help from a friend, I began to see one of my W's main LL's is quality time.

Question for you. My local Borders didn't have the original LL book in stock, just some of its later titles as the author turns into a franchise, so I settled on The 5LL Men's Edition.
Granted, I've only skimmed so far, but even with skimming (and what I've read on this forum), I don't get it! Do you determine someone's LL by observing and noticing what kinds of LL's they have responded to most favorably in the past? Or do you determine your Spouses LLs by seeing how she expresses them to you assuming that people might tend to show love the way they'd like to be shown love?

So, I made a point tonight to hang around with her and the kids watching some DVD's the kids picked out. Mainly, we just talked, but it was friendly. W seemed to appreciate it. And, it was nice.

I am going to begin reaching out very slowly to my W. Not pursuit, but just gently easing my way back into the role of her H. If I'm already dead, what do I have to lose if I handle this properly?

Nothing. Reaching out in slow, gentle ways sound like an aspect of - or variation of - "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
And you wouldn't be living up to your Gima handle if, having thought of this, you didn't do it.

And the strange thing is that I have a confidence about myself that I haven't felt before. A confidence that allows me to open myself up to my W again, and be ok if she pushes back.

That's great. That sounds to me like detachment with inner strength.

Too bad Energizer Bunny claimed that handle. You should be called ebgima, because you just keep going and going.