Yes. DH says he loves me, says he wants us to be together forever. But I just can't get my mind around the concept of a lifelong relationship with no sex! I've learned that men are NOT perpetually horny, which is what I used to think. But why on earth would a man want to stay "forever" in a relationship with no sex? And how can you love someone and not want to have sex with them? I just don't get that at all....
Something worth noting here. I think LD men have a whole different set of problems than the LD women. Men know they are supposed to be thinking about sex all of the time. I'm sure they probably wonder what is wrong with them. Then, you have the part of them that wont go be checked out. You know how a lot of men are about going to dr's (especially when they have to talk about their men parts). I think it takes an ultimatim from their partner before they will take action. As a HD partner, by not acting we are in essence saying we are OK with things. I did a lot of pleading, pouting, an eventually started yelling before I finally said you have to get help.
I also think that some men do just naturally have a LD. And that it might not be a physical problem. But, when you pair them up with a HD woman, then you have a problem. In the past, I had a very high drive. In fact, it made me uncomfortable. I am much happier now that my desire is a bit lower. I'm sure the pressure has been taken off my DH some.
I think the LD spouse doesn't think the way the HD spouse does. Why would they want to leave the marriage? They are getting their needs met. I still don't get the why they wouldn't want to ML to someone they love. I have to believe that it's not just one thing. It's a whole lot of things when added up kill the desire. Stress, hormones, etc.
We will get through this. Just taking the first steps is a big leap. Hang in there.
