First Timer

[tryingtilDorR]

As far as getting her family involved it sounds to me like it would be a mistake especially since you said it didn't help before and actually made it worse.

She isn't going to listen to anyone, and if anything will be more angry at you for 'turning' her family against her or at least making them think badly of her. Don't forget, in this state if any of her problems can be blamed on you she will do it.

My situation is slightly different in that my MIL was the one who had a issue with OM originally (I had head buried in the sand) so when I confided in her and my other ILs once the rest of the information came to light it wasn't like I was telling them something that they had no idea about.

However, W to this day resents that they were told more than they need to know, and I believe uses it daily as fuel to stay angry at me when she needs a reason.

If I could rewind the clock about 8 months, I would have been more discreet with the ILs. Sure, I felt good because they were and have been so supportive of me all along, but in the end it was just one more thing that created friction between me and W. In fact, the last time we got into a R talk (lasted about 60 seconds) she said that "Maybe things would have been OK if you hadn't TOLD everyone" I told her yes I agree, that I made some mistakes, but in the end she set this ball rolling forward and I was only telling the truth, but yes I should have been more discreet.

When an OM is involved I am all for disclosure if WAW won't stop contacting, but in my case I blew the whistle before she had a chance to react to the 'truth' (she had been denying/lying for a while before that).

I also realize it isn't very 'manly' to go whining to your MIL/SIL - I see this now through her eyes and am not too thrilled with myself.

Think about your situation and the possible outcomes from past experience and you will have your answer - be realistic about how WAW will use it against you.