I know, I cried all morning. Then I decided to do something about it. So I shoveled the driveway(it snowed last night), and then I put out my xmas decorations on my front step. Now I'm tidying up. I can't be completely down as I do get to take my S3 to a birthday party today. H and I decided I would take him and he would take care of S1.
So H text me a while ago asking what time to drop him off.
I told him I would let him know where I'm at at that time (2:00 today) and we'd figure it out then.
He said okay, then brought up the cd he snatched. Saying thanks its a good one.
It obviously bothered him I didn't mention a thing.
I didn't want to give him the satisfaction that I noticed, and sure enough he had to bring it up then.
I said no problem I missed a few songs on it anyways and made a new one today.
He said well good, I'll just take that one too.
I said you won't be able to after I take the keys to the truck, then he has no way in to get it.
He didn't say much, just that he would see me soon.
Its just constant flirting. I don't know how to take it. I don't know how to respond. Especially when he says he'll see me in a bit, three times, like he's excited to see me. Nervous again, as I just quite can't pick up this whole DB'ing thing and what to do when I pick up S3 and then drop him off after the party?? Then tomorrow we have "family time" again as S3 has a play he has to perform in church tomorrow morning...
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
K I get your point. We DO have two different situations.
So I decided to up the anti, this morning in our little text convo, H asked to bring S3 up to the house to drop him off for the party.
I said, You want to bring him here?
He said, Ya, if that's easiest.
I stalled, then wrote well no, I may not be here. I'll just call you around one thirty.
I kind of wanted to make it look as if I didn't want him coming to the house. That it would be best to meet in a controlled environment. Did I do okay? Or did it not even come off that way? I tried to sound mysterious about not wanting him to come here!
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
You slipped with this: I said, You want to bring him here? But recovered well with: no, I may not be here. I'll just call you around one thirty
I kind of wanted to make it look as if I didn't want him coming to the house. I don't think he would have read it like this.
Here's what you do:
1) Pick a spot outside a fancy restaurant for the drop off point. 2) Get yourself dressed REAL smart, sassy and elegant to make it look like you're going to the restaurant. 3) Collect the kid from him there. Say, "Thanks, I can take it from here." or something similar. Cut all other communication with, "I don't have time for this right now. You can leave." and you wait for him to leave. 4) Leave or not: take the kid and go into the restaurant. Ask to use the bathroom, then for a glass of water or something. Try stay there for as long as possible and then leave.
This will BLOW his mind because he won't know if you're having lunch with someone or if you've just had lunch...
Do this and I'll continue to coach you.
Last edited by Gnosis; 11/28/0907:30 PM. Reason: fixed some mistakes
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Gno... you are bad... very bad... But, that is good!!!
Hey Britt: I've never chimed in, but have been reading along. Gno's onto something. If you can do it, we'll be so proud! You'll give me a boost of "sh*tting, or getting off the pottttt, as well!"
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Okay, so didn't read this till it was too late. But think I did well anyways.
H called ME at one rather than waiting for me to call him at 1:30.
Tells me he is at his sisters house and can I come get S3. I agree. Go there, he meets me outside and puts S3 in the truck. He was acting quite grumpy. But whatever. I'm in a super hurry almost late for party. H knows that and tells me to get going.
As I walk around to the drivers seat, he starts up conversation. I try to cut it short, cause really...I'm in a hurry. I am looking good, all decked out, hair curled, hot new outfit I bought yesterday...looking good. Catch him checking me out.
I leave.
About 5 min. later, I get a text. Its H.
"Sorry I was so grumpy. My back is really sore and Jody (other sister in law - brothers' wife) won't leave. (H stays at his sister's house now for those of you who don't know)
All in all, he is stuck in his sisters house with her two little girls, and his hated brother's wife and her two kids and our S1. He is grumpy!!! Well life ain't that good is it now? Grass isn't always greener on the other side buddy.
I reply, "no problem, I get it. talk to ya later."
He replies " Are you sure you get it? It doesn't feel like you get it. And I feel bad. Sorry"
Now I haven't replied...Gnosis!!!!! Help!!!!!
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
He's grumpy? Poor little sh1t. That's his problem not yours. Next time he can learn how to behave. All he wants to do is get you to feel sorry for him.
You don't need to reply. This has nothing to do with what you're interested in. i.e ONLY TALK ABOUT THE KIDS from now on. For the rest... sorry sir, I don't give a darn.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Oh, and congrats on the new outfit and gear. Now go enjoy yourself at the party. If there are guys there... make sure you talk to ALL of them.
One more thing: I reply, "no problem, I get it. talk to ya later." Remove any phrases of you initiating contact from your vocabulary. You let him flirt, talk to you, etc...
From now on you DO NOT indicate any interest in him or his problems. If he want to cry on your shoulder for anything, you change the subject. You don't care about him or his feelings anymore. Remember... You couldn't care less about a whiny, snivelly little boy who hasn't got balls and abandons his bride. Besides, you've got options. Your mind is focused somewhere else.
Last edited by Gnosis; 11/28/0910:35 PM. Reason: Added paragraph
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I reply, "no problem, I get it. talk to ya later."
He replies " Are you sure you get it? It doesn't feel like you get it. And I feel bad. Sorry"
Now I haven't replied...Gnosis!!!!! Help!!!!!
remember this song? the tubes
Quote:
Talk to ya later—don’t want to hear it again tonight I’ll just see you around
Get out I’m telling you now Do you catch my drift What could be plainer than this
Nothin’ more to be said Write me a letter instead I don’t mean to be cruel But I’m finished with you
EXCELLENT BRITT! EXCELLENT!
"I'll talk to you later." then you never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never ever call back. and when he calls let it go to voice mail. and when he texts. LOL. respond 'Im on the toilet taking a crap what the hell do you need.' when he repsonds send back oh i taught you were someone else. get the picture?
start making plans now for next friday night. you need a new outfit too. so if he does corner you in the next week then you hit him up for some cash. he might as well pay. make him pay.
