"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
SP, The Greek has this theory that God puts people on this earth to challenge you about getting into Heaven. The list stays around 5 people and they can rotate on and off the list. Their sole purpose is to get under your skin, expose your dark side, and challenge your whole being. In case you didn't know the XMSP is on your list.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
SP, I've been periodically checking in on your thread for several months since I joined the forum. At first it seemed like the happening fun place to hang out. It seemed as though you had a nice healthy, light way of confronting your troubles with wit and humor. After a while though the fun turned to sad for me because what I see is someone who seems to be in an all out verbal offensive against his reality. Maybe its time to stop...accept, feel, grieve and move on.
RSF
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
"What fates impose, that men must needs abide; it boots not to resist both wind and tide." - King Henry VI by William Shakespeare
Thanksgiving was harder than I thought it would be. Didn't let on to Themselves, though I thanked them the day after for keeping up their spirits. It's odd because it hasn't been a big event in our past, but the absence was conspicuous by its presence you might you say.
In lieu of Black Shopping (other than online - I'm loving these coupon websites where you can find extra savings), we did arts and crafts, and today we're getting our holiday card photo done. Again, it's all routine but not routine; the phoniness is both essential and intimidating - by acting "as-if" I'm constantly aware of the acting.
Need to start planning 2010; there's already 2 events on the calendar - a conference in UK City and a lecture series in NATO Ally's senior military staff college.
WAW has asked me to agree to two 7-day custody blocks in February that correspond to the calendar/federal holiday schedule and to take the kids on "anniversary" (of D-day) weekend as well - so I need to start thinking about my Getaway possibilities. My 2010 goal is to pay off all my credit card debt and buy a getaway bachelor pad in Big Midwestern City.
Sooooo - resisting neither wind nor tide; other boots not, as the man said. For me, I think, the key to making it through the next 30-odd days is going to be having a vision for what could come after. After the annus horribilis that was 2009, the most hope I can afford at the present time is that 2010 will bring with it slightly less Suck that will need embracing.
We'll see, AAK, we'll see. Over grilled cheese about 10 minutes ago, in the midst of a kid-prompted "what does the future hold?" convo, D7 informed me that Mommy told Themselves last weekend that she's "kind of in love" with Mr. Someone from across the sea.
Times like these I reeeeaaaallllllyyy miss smoking (and mad props to those who quit as part of DB'ing -- I was only a "field smoker" [i.e., smoked on maneuvers], and even that was 25 years ago, and from time-to-time nothing sounds as appealing as a stick o' nicotine).
We'll see, AAK, we'll see. Over grilled cheese about 10 minutes ago, in the midst of a kid-prompted "what does the future hold?" convo, D7 informed me that Mommy told Themselves last weekend that she's "kind of in love" with Mr. Someone from across the sea.
Times like these I reeeeaaaallllllyyy miss smoking (and mad props to those who quit as part of DB'ing -- I was only a "field smoker" [i.e., smoked on maneuvers], and even that was 25 years ago, and from time-to-time nothing sounds as appealing as a stick o' nicotine).
It's possible she says that stuff to your kiddos because she knows they're gonna repeat it to you!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Our house, your house. Semantics. The kids know that you are home. What's more important is that you know that, too. Really its great that the kids have TWO homes where parents want them. Unless of course you take the big bucks job in far enough away place that the kids would either have to move with you (didn't hear that mentioned) or the wife gets a nanny.
'blah blah blah.. mommy says it's none of your business, dad.'
And it's not. What will be different is your divorcing spouse cutting you out of her emotional upheavals. Outta the mouths of babes.. listen well to your children.
'blah blah blah.. mommy is kind of in love with a guy...'
Well geez.. waxing poetic for the kiddies. Still none of your business. In a perfect world mom wouldn't share that type of information with the kids. Then again, what do the kids know of your special interest? And guess what.. none of their business either.
I do wonder at times where your children will end up in your situation... abroad for one or both parents, separate states... who knows where.
And.. at some point, just like the professor in the Wizard of Oz, life gets easier when you come out from behind the curtain.
Disclaimer... Letting loose..
George.. at least you're George for now. Are you and your soon to be ex the most idiotic people in the world? What in the heck are both of you doing going gaga over other folks in the midst of a divorce when you're not sticking needles in each other's voodoo dolls?
Yeah yeah yeah.. have my own life, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, I'm finding me again.. Guess what? That's the biggest tub of hogwash I've ever heard. Remember Bill Clinton's slogan.. "It's the economy, stupid." Try adapting that to "It's the children, (insert word)."
What type of security are either of you giving your kids when you're busy pushing buttons, threatening to move, getting upset because one fears the kids love the other parent more.
Sheesh. Remember divorce is a lose lose proposition. No one wins. The best you can hope is to protect your children. And remember.. all the crap that's going on is teaching your kids how to face conflict, resolve issues.
Consider dropping the fancy wrapping, the honeyed tone, the twist of the knife, the twinkle of wit.. and process what's going on. Just be George.
Saw a great New Yorker cartoon that reminded me of you.
A man and woman are sitting at a restaurant and the woman leans in close to the man and says, " Would it be all right if I still called every once in a while, just to y'know, just scream at you?"