well rocked, I'll just add that I don't think that's a complete screw up. Some pros and cons.
As for the cons, just more water off the duck's back.
You've come so far in such a short time. You'll do more than survive.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
I have let H know we need to have a talk soon about where we go from here. That will include the transparency issue. H agreed we need to do that, but is finding all kinds of reasons that hasn't happened yet. (shock!)
I will make sure it happens. (even tho I am still freakin' scared)
In the meantime, there is a fundraiser event for his work tonight. H has to go early to help set up etc. So, my plan is to show up looking like a million bucks and GAL my a$& off!
I actually don't feel like doing this, because I have been struggling a lot emotionally the last couple of days, but I am doing it anyway! I know I need a fun night out, and it is the perfect opportunity for some 180's. I have tended to be reserved in group settings before and I am going to push myself out of comfort zone and chat everyone up (particularly the men... hehehe).
In the meantime, there is a fundraiser event for his work tonight. H has to go early to help set up etc. So, my plan is to show up looking like a million bucks and GAL my a$& off!
Great idea and great attitude! Flirt, girl! You'll feel better, and boy, are you gonna be watched!
Good luck!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I had a FABULOUS time last night! Laughed lots, drank a bit (but not too much), chatted lots, re-connected with lots of people from H's work that I haven't seen for awhile....
I feel I re-established my place as H's wife in my H's work world, which I really needed to do.
Looked FAB too... caught H checking me out more than once, along with a good portion of the male population present.... heheh... (it is a 180 for me to acknowledge things like this!)
Also, as an "extra" bonus... OW's best friend was there and I am enjoying the thought immensely that it is likely to be reported to OW that I was there, looking FAB and getting plenty of male attention, even from H!
Thats great that you had a good night RDW. Use this strenght today and over the next few days. When you feel weak just think back to how you had a fabulous night. Then go blank for a minute.
I have let H know we need to have a talk soon about where we go from here. That will include the transparency issue. H agreed we need to do that, but is finding all kinds of reasons that hasn't happened yet. (shock!)
What exactly has he offered ?
What do you expect ?
Patience is the key right now. Remember recovery begins when both spouses commit to the work of restoring the marriage.
I would assume that he should offer the following
absolutely no contact If OP contacts H then H informs RDW right away. Total honesty. 100% transparency with emails, phones, bills, etc.... communication on being late. 5 minutes even. H calls. freedom to talk about your emotions and fears.
This goes both ways.
Except keep this site to yourself.
Aways remember real appologies do not include "BUT YOU"
Thanks for the encouragement Kara, Cutter and Rabbit!
Cutter, your questions are very important... and I need to address them. H and I have addressed them for the most part. There is more work to do there and we both know it.
I find I am emotionally exhausted today. It was an emotional weekend, and even the positive GALing, as good as it was, took something out of me.
I'm not avoiding (at least I don't think so... ) but I just don't have it in me to address anything "tough" right now. Tomorrow will be another day, and we will see where I am at then.
Going thru one of those phases in this roller coaster of "why did this have to happen? wtf did I do to deserve this?" angry kinda stuff. I know it passes cuz i've been here before many times... just where I am at tonight, just venting. Not feeling like a victim, more angry and exhuasted.
You'll feel better, and boy, are you gonna be 
) but I just don't have it in me to address anything "tough" right now. Tomorrow will be another day, and we will see where I am at then.