Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

Ok, now I'm kind of emotional. Was just talking to S12, I asked him what he had for breakfast, he said donuts. I asked "donuts", he said ya, mom went and got them this morning before I woke up. That isn't what really happened, she stayed out until very early this morning, and picked them up on the way home. The reason I know this, is because my W sleeps in on the weekends. She would NEVER go get donuts. I feel as if someone just punched me in the chest, ripped my heart out, and stomped on it. How do you control these emotions? How do you deal with this pain, over and over again? How can someone be so cold to someone they used to love so much...