Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[antlers]

I tried to tell her that I had changed, but she has completely shut me out-said "you said that before", "you always say that, and then we go back to the way we were". How can I make her see that I am willing to do those things, first off, while deployed, and second, when I get back?

Forget telling her that! She won't listen. Even if you have changed, she still won't listen. Just start doing it. And don't call attention to it either. Just do it. If she is gonna be receptive to it on down the line, it'll be up to her. You can't force it on her, or 'convince' her of it. Just do it. Be consistent. You gotta realize at this point, that your control is gone. The ONLY control that you have is over YOU. You can't control her thoughts, feelings, or actions...so don't bother trying. You can, though, control your own thoughts, feelings, and actions...so exercise the control that you do have over you.