Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

Ok, yes, i would feel ok with them staying home if her and I went out, just not that late. 4-5 hours I think is the limit. She has indicated in the past that I smothered her, didn't give her space. I can agree on this. Also, she wanted to go out dancing, dinner, all the things husbands are supposed to do, but i didn't listen. I was worried that my Soldiers would see me out, and well, that's why. I have also been away due to deployments for 6 of the 14 years together. That isn't all at once, but over the course of 14 years. She has also indicated that she likes when I go somewhere, as we reconnect, and she can miss me. I always took this as it was her opportunity to do her thing. I dunno. I know I have things to work on too, and I am . I tried to tell her that I had changed, but she has completely shut me out-said "you said that before", "you always say that, and then we go back to the way we were". How can I make her see that I am willing to do those things, first off, while deployed, and second, when I get back?