"I have been thinking about...." "I have given thought"
Turn thought into action if you want your current situation to change.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions and oh what a fun road it's been to travel thus far hasn't it?
Stop thinking about doing it, the more thinking you do, the more doubt enters your head and you stop doing it. Thats part of your problem with your wife, you probably hesitate all the time: should I do this, but what if she reacts this way....
Just do it.
Gym, tanning, clothes, dating, get out there.
Don't buy weights, go to a gym, that's part of the process, get out of the home, into a new environment, get used to getting out of the home and doing stuff externally, get out of your comfort zone, grow a little, you can do it.
No excuses, otherwise you'll just be posting on here forever with no change in your situation.
