Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

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Do WAS ever come back? Are there success stories? I think I am still in denial that this is happening, gotta get past that, and accept the fact that, right now, she doesn't want anything to do with me. That hurts, more than anything else. I have always been there for her, I always took care of her, and now she decides to discard me like so much trash... It is so cruel...

Yes. Sometimes a WAS comes back. I did. There are two parts to your situation that you must balance. #1 Lay down the boundaries for acceptable behavior. That's really what most of us have been corresponding with you about - and I think you get that part.

It is necessary to have the boundaries so the two of you can begin digging in the relationship dirt. That's #2. That's the part where you LISTEN to her - even though she'll be screaming most of it but you listen finally to what I would bet she has been signaling to you over the years. Can't say that I know why men leave, but I can tell you that for the most part, WOMEN don't walk away from a solid connection with a man who is meeting HER needs (not what he THINKS her needs are or ought to be).

Folks like Coach, Sandi 2 and Kettricken, Dia, and sometimes me ~~~ we can help you fine tune your hearing so you will KNOW why she is walking. Some of it's her. And some of it's you. Read "Thinker" and "Giving It My All", too. They are still fighting their way out but wow - they have learned how to listen and be compassionate to their wives. They get it.

I read what you wrote about how you've given her so much and done so much for her (tea, BMW, nice house...). You're a good man. But those things, while nice, may not be what she NEEDS. And y'all need to get to that point of understanding. And hey - no doubt your needs aren't being met, either. That's the kind of dirt y'all will be digging in.

And this takes Time. First is to deal with the A - if there is one. But begin doing your homework - reflect back on the R - what are some of the things you KNOW you've heard over and over again from her? That's a start to knowing why she is walking away.

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