Is this the end of my marriage?

[newmama]

P,
if I go to NC after the holidays, I will be inspired by you because
1) You are being completely honest and human about how badly you wanted to contact W for various reasons

2) You have considered it, slept on it, decided to only go through IM

3)You are remaining committed to NC! BRAVO-NC is extremely difficult to do at first and I have read 100s of posts where many people break it so don't let others convince you it's easy (not that they are) and DO FOLLOW the excellent advice of jumpyninja, cutterbug, PDT, and sandi! I will when I go NC

Also--see? I was right that your WW was not evil in not seeing your mom but you're right; she's a coward. Of course aren't all WS or they would have talked to us about their feelings instead of having an A!

Last, WHO CARES if you both duplicate Christmas presents for D because a) you will see D, NOT HER and b) gifts can be exchanged or returned!!!

Keep strong, you are inspiring me!!

[chatterbug]

Newmama I almost broke my no contact today. But stood strong. After a few posts and replies.

[newmama]

cutterbug, thank God that you are human and imperfect yet STILL refrained from breaking NC!!! BRAVO! (thanks for showing us that even the strong ones have weak moments :-)

[P17]

5. She is trying to wrestle control of this situation again by ignoring the IM and the NC letter.

Sleeping on this I remembered something I had read somewhere. People who are controlling or who try to conrol others geneally have no control in other parts of their lives and generally feel helpless.

I am also considering the possibility that W is being so inconsiderate about my mum purely to hurt me. Not sure, just s thought that is now rattling around my head.

[P17]

newmama,

Thanks for your message. Considering the mess I was in I am surprised that I could inspire anybody. I will try not to let you down.

NC is incredibly difficult. As I have said many times before it saddens me that after 7 years I will not hear or see my W again. I HAVE to move on though however much it is tearing me apart. I will be okay with or without my wife. Deep down I know that. I am a much stronger person than I thought. This sitch has taught me that.

cutterbug, as newmama said its good to know the vets find this tough too. Lets us know you guys are human too

I had a good but restless sleep last night. I am 300 miles away from home and W. Will see my mum later today.

Sleep has revealed:

1. W may be trying to hurt me with indifference towards mum.

2. She is feeling helpless / out of control in her own life, hence her pushy / aggressive / controlling attitude in her email.

3. She is angry / annoyed at me reiterating to her about NC when she came around on Monday ( her quote that she wanted to discuss my mum on Monday but 'that obviously didnt happen' gives it away).

4. She doesnt believe that I can stop contact and leep up NC.

Finally another revelation. W is keeping OM as lodger and A quiet for a while, probably until work party 18 december) before announcing it properly. That way it looks better.

Thanks again for everybodys support and help.

The

[P17]

My mum passed away this morning about 11.30am UK time. Unfortunately we all missed her by a few minutes.

[Gnosis]

My sincerest condolences P17.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm so sorry, P -- that was a sad thing to read this morning. I pray that she is at peace now, and that you can find some comfort in that.

I do know your wife is going to regret her recent actions. A LOT of them. And yes, it would be very much "script" for her to suddenly announce a new man she "just met" at some date in the near future. Very typical.

Puppy

[chatterbug]

P take good care of your self and daughter. I will say a prayer for you tonight.

[newmama]

P, I am very sorry for your loss. I pray that you and your family will comfort each other with good memories of your life with her. (((P17)))