Turning Arrows Into Flowers

[Concerned_Listener]

Jak, Aud, Matilda, and DB Friends,
My W had another traumatic outing with her dance friend. While I was spending the evening with my family, she went with him to an out-of-town restaurant and dancing afterwards. He started calling her a profanity in public, claiming that a man was dancing too close to her, and that she was intoxicated. My W is capable of maintaining appropriate dance boundaries, so I doubt his accusations. He had to be restrained by security. I guess he had her car keys, as she called a taxi to go home. Fortunately, a friend of hers was there, and kindly drove her home. She asked me to sleep with her for comfort. I agreed, but would have left if she got sexual. I stayed until she fell asleep. Her friend is going to his home country for a month sometime in the next week. He's been divorced about a week, is still unemployed, and hasn't sold his home yet.

I joined her family on Thanksgiving day. It was nice to see the out-of-town relatives. I haven't seen them, since I've been avoiding out of town travel with my W this past year.

It was nice reconnecting with my family at my brother's in-town. My sister and her family are coming to my city for Christmas. This creates an opportunity for my W to join my family for Christmas dinner. We'll see if she's ready for such a venture.

My W and her mother have been working on removing the years of clutter in the basement that has accumulated over the years. My W could not understand why she bought so much stuff. Upon reflection, she said that she must have been depressed. I helped them yesterday with sorting thru and throwing out items. It will take months to complete the project, but I could tell my W is pleased with the progress so far. This project was initiated on her own, without any influence on my part.

I've enjoyed the two lessons I've had at the new studio, and am looking forward to developing a relationship with the instructors and this studio. My W is welcome to participate to the extent she wants, in her own way, at her own pace. Any effort on mine or her part will contribute to forward progress. I'm excited about recording her private lessons. Even if I'm not participating, being able to observe and view the lessons afterwards will be valuable.

I record the group lessons on our camera, download them on my computer, review them, practice the steps on my own, and when ready, ask my W to help. If she's not available, I try it out on a patient lady at my venue. I've been practicing at home with my W most weeks, it's a matter of asking her at the right time. During the year, my W continued to help me with the class lessons, which I had to polish on my own with other ladies, but having her in the class, at the same studio, and taking an interest in ballroom dancing will be of an even greater help.

CL