Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

Blue, I BELIEVE that if I do this the right way, I can bring her back. BUT, I am also still at a point that I am hurting from all of it, and not sure if I am ok if we do D. Does that make sense? I mean, I am accepting that this may be my future, but I find myself slipping back into the "why me" thing. Feeling sorry for myself. I am a confident Alpha male, and I know what I want out life, and I am usually in control, but I am NOT in control right now-and that SCARES the HE!! out of me.