Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

I think the thing I am having a hard time grasping is the understanding that I need to show her. It seems to go against everything I have known. I just want to shake her, and wake her up. I think it is important to validate those things she says by just agreeing with her, and showing that I am listening. I am neither agreeing or disagreeing, instead I am just acknowledging her feelings. This stuff is so hard. I really am a soft hearted man, I always have been. I want my marriage back, I want my family back, I want my wife back. I know the W part isn't up to me completely, but I am going to do what I have ton to try. Another one of my concerns that I have is this: I don't want to come across as a doormat to her, if she decides to come back. I don't want her to think that this is acceptable behavior if I ever have to deploy again. I guess that's where the boundaries come into play huh? I'm getting this stuff slow but sure!!!