here we go again

[Jstar]

here it is friday night and i have remained dark for 2 days. i put my phone else where so i don't keep checking it for msgs. that will mean that wah has gone since tuesday without seeing d2 and he will probably go the whole weekend. when monday morning comes he's gonna text to say he's on his way to my work to pick up d2 and i will remain dark. i'm pretty sure i have her arranged to be cared by someone else, which will be good since she needs to socialize, i'm kind of talking myself into that.

it will also be good for my stress level being less in having to see him or his mother and remaining dark. tuesday we have concilliation appoitnment, i will go because what it says to teh court about wanting to work my marriage out, etc, have no clue if he will show, not that large of a concern other then hearing i don't want to be married anymore, but we are both locked out of doing any filings till jan so there is still hope right? I just have to get through the appointment with him if he shows. since i've been on an antidepressent my ob has even said i appear calmer even though i still ahve about a week or two to go till full effect takes place.

i don't think he will file it costs to much money and i gotta believe deep down he really does nto want a divorce like me doesn't want the same marriage, but doesn't know how to get there or to start.