It's like trying to decide if it's easier having them home or out of the house.
Some our heartbroken when they move out. Others are heartbroken when they continue to live at home and can see everything their spouse is doing. I am one of those. For over a year, I've seen H come home really late, not come home at all, take off on weekends, and text ow back when she texts him, right in front of me.
So, whether there is op or not, its still a heartbreaker. I thought ow would be a deal breaker for me also, but it wasn't. No one was more surprised than me at the way I've chosen to deal with it. I have to just keep telling myself that he's not himself right now. The one I married, would never have done this to us. It's sad.
MJ
(((MJ)))
There really is no right or easier to go through this. I often wonder if my H isn't himself, or if this is who he really is.
Minor hassle with H tonight. D10 took my cell phone while I was in the shower and texted...YOU ARE AN IDIOT to her father. Remember, this is the one who emailed him and asked him to come home. She is the one who told him if he loved them he wouldn't have left them.
She told me immediately, and I texted him and told him that D10 had hijacked my phone. His response...I'm starting to wonder what you're telling them. I told him that I told her that her father loves her and she has no place speaking to him like that. I told him that she was lashing out, and things will settle down soon. I said I was sorry for her behavior, and told him that it wouldn't happen again.
I don't think its your job to apologize for your daughter's behavior. Its his daughter too. Its between them. Once you explained it was your daughter not you, that should have been the end. He needs to deal with that head on with his daughter. You do not need to be getting in the middle of it. She is 10 years old. She understands what is going on, and its time he mans up and does something about it.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
I agree, he needs to mend the relationship. I do think my apology was in order, though. I would be crushed if I got a text like that, and he wouldn't have if I had been more careful about laying my phone around. After the email she sent, I should have known she might try to pull another stunt.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Tomorrow H is coming to get some stuff for his apartment. He has to postpone from last week because I was sick. I don't think I'm all the way detached, but I can honestly say I'm not bugged about him taking more of his stuff. I'm closer to my kids than ever, and I am enjoying being able to do whatever I want. It's peaceful. The stress he brought down on us is gone. Right now, I am fine with the idea of being divorced. Time really does heal.
Thanks, grr. It's not all peaceful. I had a big hassle with him over the kids today. He texted me yesterday and asked if any of the kids wanted to talk. We were at a friends's house and the kids were all running in the yard, so I texted back that I would tell them he texted when we got home.
We get home, and I put my cell phone on the counter and say dad wants you guys to call. No one did. H gets upset today that I didn't text him and tell him they didn't want to call.
I figured that should have been obvious, and it felt like rubbing it in to say they don't want to call.
