Can I save my marriage?

[Gnosis]

Britt, you posted the following to my thread:

Wow good for you for putting yourself out there. I think I need to do the same. My H makes all the contact and is such a sensitive man I think its about time I do something small like you did. I don't know if you read grrr's new post today, if not, go read it. I think i may make sense it some cases. As it did in yours today.

Sweetie, you're grasping at straws here and are looking for excuses. My sitch and yours are not the same because:

1) My W is still at home, your H moved out.
2) I, the man, initiated the contact. It's not your job to do it.
3) Your H is playing cat and mouse with you. My W is not.

You've been told here what will work but fear keeps you from doing it. Don't be afraid. We know what we're talking about. I know you don't and won't date. I accept this and both respect and commend you for it. However, there is NOTHING wrong with starting to act mysterious and assume the role that there is someone after you. The seeds of doubt have already been planted in your H's mind. Your living in a small town is an excellent environment to execute the plan.

As for someone telling you about the OW. FORGET ABOUT IT!!! You hear me? When I was in my 20's I lived in a small town where this guy was screwing around on his wife. Everybody knew about it except his wife -- heck even I knew about it. NOBODY breathed a word to her until after the D. Not her friends, not her family. Why? They didn't want to get involved because he had political influence. ---> Your H being a police officer pretty much guarantees people's silence. No one will part their lips for fear of retribution. People aren't stupid, you don't cross a cop because cops stick together. It would be suicide for anyone to do this in a small town.

IF you want to flush out your H :
Playing the WAS game is the only way to go. Give him more suspicion to believe there is someone fishing around for your attention. Don't pay attention to him. Act as if you're in love with another man. If he is indifferent then the results are pretty damning that he is over you. If he comes back to you then you play hard to get like I told you. He has misbehaved and needs to be punished to learn his lesson that you are not a fool to be toyed with. Only then will he gain the necessary respect for you. You take him back to easy and without consequences then he has not learned his lesson and will do this again whenever he feels like it.

Do you think I and others would dare you to do something that would be detrimental to you? ABSOLUTELY NOT! This forum is for people who wish to save their marriages not destroy others.