Well got a email from WAS today. First contact from her in 3 weeks. A friend of her's who I got along well with mom passed away. So tomorrow I am going to reply back with a simple thank you and attend the viewing. The right thing to do.
This will be me breaking the no contact since Oct. 22nd.
Funny that. I had a dream about her last night. First one in a very long time.
Other than that my sitch is going along like it was last month. GAL and continuing to grow. A few dates for some spice in life. And back to no contact after that. Continue to grow and continue to heal.
Cutter, is there any reason why you need to break NC? Just go to the viewing. Say nothing. Reply to the email when you get back with, "Just got this. Thanks."
I'm just asking... because I can't remember your entire sitch. Sorry. Reading too many threads and starting to get mixed up.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
well either way. I will see her tomorrow at the viewing and got a phone call asking for her birth cert. So NC will be broken some time. Unless I get there early.
Either way an interesting day for cutter coming up. Have not seen WAS since early Sept. Get to see how strong I am. No doubt I will be back here tomorrow some time
Well got a email from WAS today. First contact from her in 3 weeks. A friend of her's who I got along well with mom passed away. So tomorrow I am going to reply back with a simple thank you and attend the viewing. The right thing to do.
I dunno. Did/do you know this other woman outside of your relationship with your wife? Cuz "the mom of a woman is who is friends with my wife" seems like a bit of a stretch to me. Like she's just looking for a reason to contact you.
I'd be inclined to say you should not respond to the e-mail, and just send flowers and/or a nice note to your friend on the passing of her mom.
Since I was thinking about it. I knew that I was not prepared to see WAS. I knew I would be nervous. I also do not want to step back from my progress at this time.
So I gave the birth cert to her father and told him to call her and say that he had it and that I may be able to attend the viewing but was real busy with work so I may not make it.
I sent an email to the friend of my WAS and will follow up with a card.
Thanks Puppy and Gnosis.
I as well thought it was an attempt by WAS to break my NC. And I almost did it.
When I’m with you all my brothers oooh I feel like a king It feels like I’m dreaming When that blood goes rattling through my veins My ears start to ring I notice what matters
And I got nothing to lose but Darkness and shadows Got nothing to lose but Bitterness and patterns
When I can’t find the way to reach you my love I’m just not the same Just the same When I know you’re watching out for me I know what I’m knowing I can see what matters
And I got nothing to lose but Darkness and shadows Got nothing to lose but Emptiness and hang-ups
Oh, when I know you’re watching out for me I look for what matters And I notice what matters
And I got nothing to lose but Darkness and shadows Got nothing to lose but Loneliness and patterns
The flowers blooming, the trains collide ah I don’t got a thing to lose
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
That issue with my good friends really bothered me. And I have had to help my Mom with a friend on her street who's daughter was sexually assulted by her father. She is a little sweetie. Who always said that she would be my WAS's and my daughter because she felt we needed children. I really missed my WAS on this issue. I have no one to talk to about this and I have bottled stuff up for two weeks.
My house mate came back from his trip to Europe ( possibly to see his EA ) But he was smart to keep the boundary and not talk about it. He was back one day and then went south to work on his marriage with his wife. Hopefully I got thru to him. Time will tell. Being human it just reminds me of my current marriage and its situation.
I have also became emotionaly attached to the girl I went out with back in early Oct. So I have kept my encounters with her apart. Like seeing each other every few weeks and only call a day before we meet up again. Mind you I have used these feelings to help myself heal from the effects of the affair and to build my self esteem. I am not going to enact on these feelings. As I enjoy our friendship. Its the oldest friendship I have outside of my immediate family. Sometimes when were together I think that she is struggling with the same feelings. But this is not the time for such things. As it is a time of healing. But I will admit that it felt good to know that I could be attracted to someone physically. I was very worried that I would not be able to get over the betrayal at that level. As for what level of physical I could reach now. Hugs and the random contacts of hands touching and other rubbing that happens when doing stuff all the time. I find I miss that contact the most. As WAS and I always were touching each other that way through out our marriage up to July. The hand rubbing on the arm. That was always enjoyable. We always smiled when that happened.
I know I sound like I am in a bad spot right now but I am not. Reflection can be worth while. I am not cycling. Actually I do not know what exactly I am feeling tonight. But I just needed to reach out. And right now this place is where I feel safe. Guess I am dealing with some waves.
Good going Cutter. I hope she cracks soon.