First time poster feeling a bit lost

[MT21]

Sandi,

Thankyou for sharing your sitch, I am truly pleased that you and your H have remained together and are working out your differences, It is encouraging for us all.

I on the other hand have had a v.mixed up evening, I decided to go to bed before she came home from her business trip, I have been feeling angry today, She didn't need to see that.
Unfortunately she woke me, I tried with some simple small talk but it spiraled into me telling her to get out until she made he mind up what her next move was. ( this wasn't the message I wanted to send, I couldn't help myself)

So we then talked, A lot...

She apologized for hurting me so much but couldn't find the words to say it any other way.
She confirmed no A, I believe her.
She is also hurting and said there was no easy way to say it, we have agreed that we shall start to fix up the house a bit. (Together)
She has agreed to counseling, but she says she feels tired and is not ready to launch right into it.
We are both agreed in that we do not want to just paper over the cracks and aim to really find out if the right course of action is to split.
We both agreed to take small steps, house, finance, talking, AOB...No resolve to sharing the same bed.
I wont push this, I am also not emotionally prepared for this. (of course it may never happen)
The subject of the trip came up.. she agreed it would be a nice idea for us to go.(We'll talk a bit more on this one)

The negative thing for me, I shouldn't have pushed a deep discussion tonight or taken the approach I did. so part of me feels like we made some progress and the other part says "idiot" when she wakes tomorrow and has more time to think, she 'll think your pushing and adding more pressure. (and it will drive her away)

I need to back off some and at least try and keep the mood lighter.



I know I should concentrate on myself and I am.. still no wine, still on track for quitting smoking, Joined the Gym did an hour today. My food intake is regular and healthy, and I lost 8lbs in 3 weeks.
But I think if we don't talk at all when there's a chance to then we risk not being able to start talking again. I am conscious though, that there is a v. fine line between talking and every conversation becoming a deep, depressive and emotional slog..

Tomorrow's another day. Lets make it a good one.

MT