I wish I had that answer. Some probably lay in co-dependence, integrity, loyalty, lack of confidence, and in your case long term familiarity. For you, he is basically all you have known for your adult life so on some level for you...a little fear. It is definitely understandable, but doesn't make the situation any easier. I think that is one of the reasons why gal'ing is so important to DB'ing. It gets you ready mentally to know that there is more in this world....you get to see it, feel it, taste it. Were as if you sit and wait you don't have the opportunity to get those feelings.
It does appear that your husband is making a little effort towards reconciling though. It almost seems like you are at a cross road to decide what you want. So what do you want?
