Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Greek]

If we go on a road trip, should I invite her along?

SoldierDad

"W, I want to take the boys to xyz on this day, that day and the next. Would you like to come with?"

She says yes - great. She says no - fine as well. You are ok either way. No fight. No fuss. Just ... ok.

Just b/c tries to "start fights" does not mean you engage. Gosh - Coach is like a master at this. When I would try to raise the volume or escalate something into an unproductive place, he would say something infuriating like, "I can understand why you feel that way. How can I help?" Or "I really want to deal with what you are telling me b/c it is very important. I'm going to step away for a bit and consider what you've told me." In other words, he didn't match my intensity - he dialed the thing back to a reasonable place. Which yeah, ticked me off initially but I could eventually see the wisdom and effectiveness of his method - vs mine which was all about the emotion. Make sense?
Greek