Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

P17,
this is to answer your Q about the stage of the affair.

Based on what I read, affairs last 6 months-2years. If my H started the affair as an EA in August 2008 (it became physical October 2008), it has been in place for 1 year 4 months.

I exposed it to our family and friends when he "moved in" with her April 2009 (7 months). He had 9 months of secrecy.

So, based on the fact that the affair is not shiny and new anymore*, and he has had the opportunity to "live the fantasy" for 7 months now, I figure he might be starting to realize she wasn't everything he was imagining.

I figure that because he hasn't taken action (that I know of) to file for D, he is not 100% sold on the idea of spending the rest of his life with her.

At the same time, he hasn't ended it yet so he must not be sold on the idea that he should stay with me.

SOOOO, I am hoping that at this time he is comparing and contrasting the two of us and I am kind of in competition with her. SHE is most likely starting to relax and show her true colors since they have had 7 months together now.

Hopefully by being the best woman I can, it helps to improve me for a future relationship with or without him AND makes me look like the better option.

I could be completely wrong and full of sh*t but it motivates me to have hope and keeps me from filing for D.

*when a new romance is in its beginning stages, the lovers will listen to no one and only want each other. (Then again, some affairs end immediately on DDay....)