I did it. I didn't let H's agitation take me down today... I'm very proud.
In the past, I would have let a conversation like last nights, bother me through today, and ruin my night out w/girlfriends.
NOPE
Didn't initiate contact w/H until late in the day, as needed to firm up schedule w/kids for the evening. Offered to get him sushi for dinner (on a very limited diet/menu). H was in a fine mood, told me he'd be home tonight, and wanted me to call him w/directions to S12's bball game. I reminded him that we weren't going home afterwards, as I had plans w/the girlfriends, and the boys were handled.
H was fine at the game, and gave me a definite hug and kiss when he left (to go back out of town for work).
H called an hour later (knowing I was out w/girlfriends), checking on the wine he brought us. Was it good? Did you enjoy it? Are you all having fun? Etc...
I was nice, replied, and then told him I had to go, as we were just starting to enjoy ourselves!
I'm proud of myself!
I didn't get down.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Well, we're supposed to have Thanksgiving Dinner here, but I was just prescribed two new medicines for my pneumonia. It's just not getting much better. Hope I can pull this off tomorrow. H has been checking in today (I've not called him! Yea!), and will be home earlier than thought, this evening.
We have lots of fun things planned for the weekend. These new prescriptions better work quickly!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Thanksgiving was good. My parents, and some extended family came. H's family couldn't end up coming... this happens a lot. It stinks, because they are fun!
H handled the deep-frying of the turkey. It was delicious!! I felt better yesterday am, so I got started in the kitchen @ 7am. Well, I really didn't leave the kitchen until 5pm. I was beat!
My friend, my Internal Medicine Doc, called about 4pm asking if my news meds were working. I told her I felt better enough to cook. She told me that was good, because the next stop was the hospital. UGH!
D18 was here yesterday... She helped me get ready. Pleasant day w/her, w/no issues. The better days are outnumbering the worse days now. I think D18 is growing up! Yea!!
I went to bed early last night, as I was totally beat from being in the kitchen all day.
H took the boys bowling this am, w/my Dad. I stayed home and rested. S12 plays in a soccer game at the pro soccer indoor facility, right before their opening home game this evening. It should be great fun.
I'm not feeling any better today, but hope to improve. I'm DONE being sick!!!
Hope everyone's day went good yesterday, and enjoy the weekend w/your friends and families!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I will need the help of some strong, experienced DB'ers here...
GOALS:
Long Term:
-- Happy, stress-free life w/love in abundance (hopefully w/my husband)
2-Month (14-Year Anniversary is 1/20/2010:
-- Summon-up the courage to find proof if there is an affair. (I've snooped a bit, w/nothing leading that way, but... I'm not naive either.) (Will need help - no idea how.)
-- Build up enough strength to deal with the results, either way.
-- Have a frank, open discussion w/H regarding what I know (if there is something that gets exposed), and/or what I'm willing to live with within our M. (NOT the way it is!)
Immediate:
-- Heal from this stupid pneumonia.
-- Deal w/issues related to my heart arrhythmia (sp?).
-- Have a happy, stress-free holiday season.
-- Re-dedicate myself to a fitness routine. (Like keeps interrupting!)
-- Begin investigation in possibility of H's affair.
-- Smile and wave!
Last edited by mindfull; 11/27/0906:46 PM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Also on the physical side, when is the last time you guys got jiggy with it?
And if it has been a long drought, does he have health issues that prevent him from wanting to be with you?
Sounds like he travels alot, is it possible that he's seeing someone else and you don't know it?
He honestly takes for granted that you'll always be there, never mind giving him space, give yourself some space, take care of yourself, he obviously knows how to push your buttons.
When is the last time you guys spoke about your relationship and it's current status?
ILYBINILWY is often code for "I found someone new & exciting and you've lost your lustre in my point of view".
I'm not saying this is always the case but it happens more often than not to be coincidental.
-- Build up enough strength to deal with the results, either way.
Before you do anything else regarding a possible A, make sure you have done this! Know that you are ready. And know what you plan to do. (Though I understand that even the best laid plans can be derailed in that kind of situation.)
I think it is very likely that something is going on, or was going on. Or that he is looking. But until you are ready to know, it won't do you any good.
Your immediate goals, on the other hand, are good. Though I might wait on "snooping". It's really important that you take care of yourself, the road ahead could be rough, and you are going to need to be strong mentally and physically to get through it.
I hope you feel better and have a great afternoon!
