Not wanting to be on this boat........

[Buffet]

It has been a long time since I have posted. I wish i would be back with a happier update. I have been weekly to what was at first our MC counselor but has turned into my IC as the W refuses to go and says that everything is over. She is "done" "numb" "Broken" and other things along those lines.
I have been doing some GAL activities (not as much as needed but still a start) and it was working well, as every time i would go somewhere I would all of a sudden get calls, texts, conversations from W. She would at times beg me to come home and that it did not have to be that way, blah blah blah. My error was that it would delve into a R talk and than she would get cold again.
I decided 2 weeks ago to lay some boundaries and told her that I loved her and would prefer to work on the M. In order to do that though I needed A,B,C....
She than said that she could not do that and she did not love me, etc... So I said that I would need to look into my options and was not interested in pursuing a relationship with no love, no physical relations, or no commitment to working things out.
She than went and got an attorney and has started the legal process. I am not going to lie, i thought that I could handle that as at least it would be movement in some direction but it is hurting pretty bad. I never even with all of these things going on thought that she would make this choice I have always still believed that one day she would come to her senses and wake up.
Now though it is really to late. We spent thanksgiving apart and she told her family and is not wearing her ring anymore. The thought of the rest of my life alone and my poor son being passed back and forth like a sack of groceries is making me literally sick to my stomach. I feel alone, scared, abandoned, and discarded.
To top it all off, my W saw me breakdown while in the bathroom to take a shower and told me that she was doing this for me (what a bunch of s***) and that it was not fair for me if she stayed and did not love me. But if I wanted she and I could stay "married" but not have a husband/wife relationship that that part is over and would never come back.
Not sure what feedback anyone would have, my W does not love me and thinks that I am some kinda horrible person that she could never love again and would never be happy with. As much as I am hurt I do not deserve to live life with someone that will not love me back ever again, I just don;t know what to do