Ob, What you are feeling is normal. There is a book about dealing with the aftermath of affairs, someone will show up with the name. You two will have to address your concerns or it will fester in your mind, don't let this go unresolved. Of course she wants it to be forgotten - she's ashamed, embarassed, knows she has hurt you, broken your trust, and unsure on how to proceed. I would find a MC to help deal with this.
Keep your boundaries in place, your feelings are your feelings be wise in how you express them, and if something is bothering you then it is your responsibility to bring it up.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
