OK replying to my own post here...lol

Just re-reading coach's thread on boundaries... duh... why didn't I do that before...lol

So, I am getting a better picture here.

I need to communicate that if H continues ongoing contact with OW (other than what is absolutely essential for work) and refuses transparency with me, then I will need to consider my options, including leaving the R. I am not willing to be in an open M nor be treated that way.

I think I am getting it...