The timing is still a big issue, the secrecy, and now what he's fuming about is that I had mentioned to S19 about couple of months ago that we were seeing a MC to learn how to talk better. I didn't plan that, it was a natural progression of the conversation, and H wasn't there to ask before I did. We were talking about his adjustment issues at college, and I was worried that he was picking up on our troubles and was upset. Turns out he hadn't. I didn't tell H afterward, and I should have. It didn't seem like a big deal, S was calm about the whole thing. My mistake to bring it up, and not telling H after.
I'm exhausted.
SB,
Sorry you're having a time right now. But, it's ok and it is going to be ok.
Stop taking the balme for everything. YOU are not ruining the holidays - HE is by treating you the way he has and leaving you no choice by his failure to address some pretty glaring character flaws. You are not to blame for having a discussion with your S. Just stop.
And expect your H to keep turning everything around on you. Everything will be "your fault." Choose not to accept that b/c it's not true. And part of this is exactly b/c things aren't going according to his plan. TOUGH!
Deep breath. Get some sleep tonight. You will feel better in the morning.
You have gotten some great advice. Go back and re-read it.
