For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Day 1 of new me/new DB efforts = success. In fact, I'll grade myself. I earned an A.

First, 10 things I'm thankful for:
1. God
2. My family
3. The joy of being a mommy
4. My health
5. The wonderful dinner we had today at my parent's house
6. My friends
7. My church
8. My home
9. New beginnings/fresh starts
10. That today I'm separated from H and not divorced from him

I really am doing my best to focus on the good things and I know today it's easy bc it is Thanksgving. But, I'm going to try to keep that as my main focus each day.

Today I kept busy, gave thanks and really didn't feel sad - which is so amazing. I think I finally let go of the expectation that H should join us so I didn't end up crushed when he didn't.

Today I finished an art project with DD, watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, made cupcakes and decorated them as turkeys with DD, gave her a bath, went to my parent's, came home and cleaned things up. I didn't take the time to be sad. I do much better when I keep busy.

Didn't hear from H until 5:30ish when he texted to ask me if I was going shopping tomorrow. I waited 3 hours to text him back. Now old Courtney would have either ignored him or immediately fired a text to him saying something like, "Um...why do you care? Once again you blew us off. That's really nice - um...it's Thanksgiving and you didn't spend it with your family. You make me sick." Wow...see how horrible that is! Smarter Courtney simply texted back, "yes." And a few additonal texts were exchanged, but nothing bad.

And I thought about it. I could have ignored him, but I think that would have shown I was angry and bitter. Instead, I prefer to be short, direct and honest in my responses.

My sister is divorced and today there was drama between her, her kids and her ex. It broke my heart and it was another reminder of why it's just not an option for me to continue doing the things I've been doing. I'm changing for me, my DD, my H and for any chance of keeping us together.

I hope you all had a great time today and ate just as much as me. : )