First Timer

[antlers]

I guess then that we will have to agree to disagree. I feel that I have set boundaries. Yes, this has been a struggle because since our problems have started she has been all over the map with her thinking and actions. It has truly been a rollercoaster ride. And I generally either over analyze or over react as to what steps to take. So I have learned to move a little slower than I normally would.

I respect and value myself, but I must admit that this situation has been humbling and has made me readjust my thinking and boundaries at times. I have also found that some boundaries are flexible depending on the situation and others are hardlined no matter what. At times it has been a struggle with boundaries because their has been so many of them.

Actully, I am somewhat proud of how I have handled things because I have shown considerable restraint and patience (Not due to my own strength but with the help of God). My natural response and reaction to my situation would be to fight fire with fire, worry about me and the kids, put her out, and let the chips fall where they may. But because of my Bible beliefs I know that I must also continue to show love for my wife even if she isn't showing the same love back to me. I also keep in mind that my wife's mental situation has a lot to do with her actions as well. I believe that if I can keep things together long enough either she will come to her senses or she will cross a boundary that will clearly define my best option, ie divorce. Until then I believe that my best option is to address each situation as they arise.

"We all have to dig deep and do the soul searching to find where our boundaries are. We have to cast our pride and ego aside, and yet set and enforce healthy boundaries for ourself to protect our hearts and children's and our futures, as much as possible. No one can or should tell us what to do. Only you know, so pray for guidance AND strength and do what His will is as best you can." - 25