Trying LRT - Please Help!

[Gardener]

The Tree Farm plan sounds good. Spontaneous and flexible.

BTW Gardener, I have been following your thread. Just haven't posted much as I don't feel I am in the position to offer you any advice. Just wanted you to know that your sitch, like so many others, is a nightmare to live through. And yet, day after day you stand tall. I admire that.

Why, thank you. We all are living nightmares that we never signed on for. And all of us here stand tall, even when it would be so much easier to just collapse for a while.

Regarding posting on my thread, not to worry. We can't comment on every sitch or we'd go nuts. I try occasionally to bring one thing to posters' attention: Look at the two columns on the main page of threads - Replies and Views. Views to Replies is almost always a ratio of at least 10:1.
I take comfort and strength in so many checking in, commiserating, whatever.
"I don't have time to to reply, or I don't know what to tell you. But I'm here."

Do you think H had a difficult Thanksgiving too? He did have the kiddos with him. But even so, it still had to be at the very least, strange. Guess I am not as detached as I thought. Need to work on that.

I think you nailed it: Difficult and strange.
And detachment means working mentally and emotionally through either outcome: repair or divorce and letting go of control of outcome knowing, at the very least, you will be okay either way. Detachment is not heartless; it is not unemotional. Sometimes (like holidays!) you wonder about your S's state, thoughts, etc. empathetically, sympathetically

This brings up one of many things that I don't understand about a WAS. Why give this all up? Why break up a family? You say you are not happy. So let's fix it. But instead he just walked away from me. Not the kids, mind you, just me and our M. I know this action is typical of a WAS. That doesn't mean I understand it. Nor does that mean I have to like it. It just is and now I have to deal with it. And in the end, I will be okay.

Why, indeed? Why? Why? The question - THE question that never seems to get answered.
Happy Thanksgiving, mo3.