Counseling conundrums

[Gardener]

Bunny,

I feel lost and confused, and I'm floundering. I thought I knew why I was doing this, but I can't explain it to H, it sounds inconsequential when I try to put into words. I guess I could have waited another month. I'm sorry, I'm messing my family's lives up, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I really did think it was the right thing.

I'll be OK, I'm just a little upset at the moment. And so will the kids.

You're not lost.
And I don't blame you for floundering.
He is making you feel confused.
You know exactly why you are doing this and how right and necessary it is for your health.
You don't have to explain to H until you're good and ready.
You are not messing your kids' lives up. At all. Probably the exact opposite in the long run.
You "really did think it was the right thing" because it is the right thing. You know this, too. Known it for months. Longer.

Breathe. Go for a walk. When H brings it up, just say, "Not tonight. No more tonight." Don't engage any more tonight.