First... thank you. For being firm and supportive to me at the same time. Thank you. I do NOT know what I would do without this forum right now.
Thanks for the quote Cutter.... that is very powerful.
Second... the update: H and I talked again last night and apparently he and OW have ended the R. BUT, she does still have a part time contract where H works and it is not done til January. So, there will be "work related" contact until then, and this is unavoidable.
In describing where he and I are at, he says, we are in a "commited faithful M" for now... but still need to address the issues that pre-existed the A. Which I have always said I am willing to do.
Now... the tough issue... transparency. We discussed it. I was clear how essential it is. We were both exhausted at 1:00 am at this point and we agreed to discuss it further. I know I will get resistance... and what does this mean? He wants to keep the door open for ongoing contact. I know this. I am not stupid.
I have, until now, taken a stand that I am not in favor of a separation of any sort and if H chooses to leave, then that is his choice and will need to own it to kids and everyone else. However, I feel this is the only leverage I have to enforce this boundary. If he is not willing to have complete transparency, then I ask him to leave? Is that my only option for enforcing this? If anyone else has other ideas, I am open.
Also - I do not want him to know about this forum and one friend that I have confided in about my sitch thru email. If we have complete transparency both ways, I feel I am jeopardizing my few support systems. What would I do about that?
Anyway.... Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving. We all have much to be thankful for even in the roller coaster of various sitches we live in....
