It's been a very long time since I posted, months. So much has happened over the last 3 years since I came here. I know it sounds strange but I am grateful for every bit of it, it's made me even better. It gave me skills and insights that I never had or understood.
Today I am most thankful that I have a heart that is willing and able to give unconditionally. No barriers keeping anyone out, no hardness from being left behind, no anger, nothing negative.
For the last 7 months I have been dating the most wonderful woman and I have been falling in love with her the whole time. (this isn't the first relationship since the seperation and divorce) Sadly for the last month she has been having a rough go of it with her ex and his family. It is stunning what people will do and say to those they supposedly loved. All this has sent her into a tailspin and caused her to question everything in her life.
On Tuesday I did something I would never been able to do before learning DBing and all these relationship skills and insights. I let go of her. She needs to recover without the pressures and expectations of others of the stresses. She needs to have wounds re-opened healed.
How big is this for me? Huge because I was beginning to think of a future together, a long future, of marriage. We'd talked about the future but kept it to the near and mid-term.
So, I am thankful for knowing what love really is, what falling in love really is and knowing how love makes doing the right but hard thing easier to do. I am grateful for all that I have experienced and learned. Grateful that I didn't step in front of that bus in London back in Dec 06. Grateful that even after experiencing the worst emotional pains that I have a loving heart.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Now off to enjoy this day with my family, enjoy the beautiful weather we have today and enjoy life!!!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
