I know Thanksgiving is a hard time for many of us. I have my Dad and sis here; we are painting the kitchen--it will brighten the place and more importantly, keep us busy.
But the panic and fear are notching up the past few days. No contact, nothing between us to shift or move--is this not a cheeseless tunnel? just more of the same--no email or contact since 11/9 when I sent a funny email story and he responded positively.
One big change--after the blow up paying the joint bills in October (When he finally expressed anger and said "you won!" re staying in house--is NC re paying the joint bills. Like he just checked out of doing that joint task that we had agreed would be part of our oh-so-agreeable separation. So I paid the bills alone in November. I find it frightening that he would leave the bills--and thus the house--to me. He is very particular about the bills--sort of an accountant at heart.
I don't take it that he trusts me to to do the bills---more that he either doesn't care, or can't bear the anger of having me in the house. More likely the latter.
Maybe building up a good head of anger about me staying in the house is a good thing? at least it would be an EMOTION towards me that he might eventually have to break down and talk about.
I'm sure the vacation time and winding down of work is adding to the panic-not sure how I will keep it together when I am on a long Xmas break.
Advice on cheeseless tunnels vs. going dark vs. keeping strong?
I hope everyone's turkey bastes perfectly and the gravy is lump-free!
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
