Soap Opera and trying 180

[P17]

For her, it's a matter of control, she cares for, and probably loves me, but also sees no future in us short of the next few days.

This sounds like you got a good ego boost from her. Are you sure it's not a little about revenge though? You do mention it but thinking about my own sitch and if that happened it would cross my mind.

As for her, she is attempting to move and get a new job as well. However, she does have some concern about whether my attempts to end the A through exposure may have have given her a negative reputation in the georgraphical area she's applying.

No. SHE gave herself a negative reputation when she did what she did. All you did was make sure people know what she had done. You are not to blame for her poor choices.

And she's too scared, cowardly, arrogant, what-have-you, to face up to the facts of what she did and how it hurt me and the family.

That sounds very familiar.

She needs to find the courage soon, cause my dear co-worker has already indicated that while she's pulling for the marriage to work out, she has eyes for me if it doesn't.

Is that not a bit of what your W did though? You are keeping your W hanging on as you want to work on M but now you have, potentially, OW to fall back on?