Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Cyrena, yes.. he finally did!! She has been super nice since, called me twice. Finally, I killed her with kindness and acting as-if. Rob.. he hasnt even spoken to them yet. Sigh!

I had tried not to think that - that having a baby could break our R, but you're right, it could. I do wonder what our dynamic would be. He hasnt mentioned trying though, so its not looking likely! I will be 39 in March, the age my Nan's periods stopped. He does know and I told him I was concerned. He just hugged me.

We had a row last night, our first proper one. I told him I felt he was being a bit selfish. He got annoyed and said maybe he was, but it was better he was honest and said what he felt instead of going along with things. I said of course it was, but in this instance, he said no to a family event that put me in a very awkward position. I said I dont ask him for much, I 'go along with things' and had to get past stuff (like Helen, the beds I've slept in, spending time with his frosty mother etc etc).. all for the sake of the relationship, because I want this to work, also to make life smoother for him and make sure his needs are met, but mainly because I wanted to, because I love him and thats what couples do..they do things for each other at times, its important that he spends time with his mother etc, so I bend and compromise).

I dont know who was right or wrong, but we both felt hurt. I told him I do some things also, because deep down I worry if I dont, he will get annoyed and leave me again. He looked upset and gave me a big hug, but again, just silence back. Later, he said he was upset, because we had words and he hates having cross words with me, that we never did and he hates it. I said it was ok for us to have conflict now and then. Truthfully, I still feel he holds the balance of power in this R, but maybe thats an illusion and just my fear. Afterall, its pretty shocking that someone can up and walk out, but would he really do it again?