These are fabulous tools to help thanks friends. EB I've given up trying to understand my spouse. His constant anger and negativity are hurting me too much and I can't fathom why it's going on. I feel it is abusive, but I still don't even know. I'm so confused.
GIMA, Yes, I think this is helpful re: me feeling like I'll "never" be happy again, with anyone else, etc. It's empowering to stop those kind of thoughts.
I'm too concerned with how a D will affect my S to worry about myself. All my holding on at this point is for him.
I realized something tonight. H will probably not change. He will not come back as the loving H I once knew. He will continue to be the same mean a$$hole he's been. I have to stop thinking that DB is going to turn him into a kinder, more loving, pursuing person. It's just not happening. Gal and NC just gives him license to isolate and not care even more. I can only really drop the rope when I expect the worse - that he continues down the abusive path. In a way it's liberating because I stop trying to analyze my every move to try to win some love back. It's pretty depressing but I don't have to feel responsible for his angry outbursts anymore. (Although I still do - I'm getting there anyhow)
