And then the other shoe dropped. That one issue with a co-worker spilled into something much deeper. I'd always had the impression that there was something there. I found myself in a situation to exploit it and chose to do so. I am fortunate in the sense that she did not want to have sex with a married man, but it was a very long and intimate evening. She knows everything and is fully supportive of my attempts to reconcile the marriage. For her, it's a matter of control, she cares for, and probably loves me, but also sees no future in us short of the next few days. Right now I'm guilt free, and honesty feel better about the situation. I do not believe it's necessarily about retribution since I've been attracted to her for awhile. I think for me it was about exploring an opportunity before it was lost. I think that for me it was confirmation of the fact that while life was good with her, that I don't NEED her to survive. Now that I'm several days away from moving, I may not even need NC anymore since I'll be creating a new life without her. As for her, she is attempting to move and get a new job as well. However, she does have some concern about whether my attempts to end the A through exposure may have have given her a negative reputation in the georgraphical area she's applying. To me, it seems like more cover for her. As long as she's not ready to face the reality of what she did, there's no R in the works. And she's too scared, cowardly, arrogant, what-have-you, to face up to the facts of what she did and how it hurt me and the family. She needs to find the courage soon, cause my dear co-worker has already indicated that while she's pulling for the marriage to work out, she has eyes for me if it doesn't.
